The Marauders 101 by Lily Evans
by KPtheMoviesaholic
Summary: The Lowdowns, deep, dark secrets of the Marauders you've never known, revealed in one hilarious summer's seven days' bet of James and Lily's love, with Sirius's help, of course.
1. Day OneAt Number Twelve Grimmauld Place

**A/N: Chapter 2! Coming up fast special for y'all, since I'm off for vacation during the next few days. (Might come back and edit, though.)**

**Chapter 2: Day One—At Number Twelve Grimmauld Place**

**Note: the Italics are 'secrets' from Lily's thoughts.**

James's POV

"Do you even think you can do the undoable, Prongs?"

Padfoot again. Asking weird questions.

"Shut up, Padfoot," I muttered, trying to flatten down my forever-messy hair.

"For once, you know," starts dear Pads once more, "I actually am looking at someone else using the mirror."

"Wow, what a surprise," chirped sarcastic Moony, whose head is still in his book.

"It's never going to work, poor Prongs," sympathizes Wormtail.

"Lily's coming here, guys, you know that," I repeat once more.

"Moony, tell me, I have never heard that news before. I think it was in his dream," Padfoot waltzes around the room, seemingly having fun in torturing me.

And Moony just has to help him every time. "What Padfoot is trying to say, Prongs, is that you've been saying this ever since we have arrived."

"And that was?" I raise my eyebrow.

"Eh, ten minutes ago?" Wormtail says, fumbling with his hair clumsily like he has nothing to do.

Seems like ten years.

_Oh. Oh Merlin. SHE'S here!_

Lily's POV

Who would have thought a pureblood, powerful family such as the Blacks would live in a Muggle district?

I glance down at the paper on my hands again, the paper written by that familiar scrawny writing of Black.

_You will find the Black Mansion at Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, London._

What is this, a joke? To my left is the Muggle mansion Number Eleven and the right the Thirteen. Whatever happened to Number Twelve?

It cannot be that bad, Lily. The game hasn't even started. Calm down. Maybe it's some sort of—magic, yes, must be. Having made that decision, eyes close, I imagine in my mind of seeing Number Twelve, which, all of a sudden to my surprise, springs up from nowhere. I swear, the whole building expands in front of my eyes, to its oblivious neighbors.

Never mind, this is the wizarding world, isn't it?

Shaking my head, I approach the old stone steps and press the doorbell.

The wooden door with number twelve on it squeaks open a little, and I can see a hazel eye peering from inside.

In less than a second, the door fully swings open, revealing a lavishly beautifully luxurious decorated hall…and, to my dismay, the four marauders grinning brightly: Potter, the closest one to me standing beside Black, whose right side stands Lupin, engrosses in a book I've never seen before. Pettigrew, meanwhile, hides shyly at the back of his bookworm friend.

"Welcome, Evans," bows Black in an elegant fashion that almost makes me giggle, "To the Black Mansion."

James's POV

There she is, standing opposite me, looking hotter than ever even in her simple jeans and t-shirt.

And did I mention I'm going to get to see her 24 hours for the next seven days?

Blis—

Ouch! Padfoot didn't have to hit my head like that. Good grief, now my Lilyflower's staring at me like I'm some kind of stalker.

"Say something!" hisses my best mate, "Stop daydreaming for Merlin's sake. This is the moment you've been waiting for—for, er—the last twenty minutes, isn't it?"

"Ah, um…" Where have all the words gone? When I see her face, everything just disappears from my mind—it's seeing a dream come true. "Hi, Evans. Glad to know we'll be—"

_Marauder Secret #2: Sometimes the cocky Potter mumbles when it comes to girls. Strange, isn't it?_

"Finally you're talking," she huffs, "For a second there I honestly thought you were some kind of stalker."

_Marauders Secret #3: They _like_ staring at you when you're not looking—creepy, and probably thinking dirty thoughts._

Silence comes into the room like an uninvited guest.

"So," Padfoot starts again, "No need for introductions, eh? Let's just head upstairs, then I can show you your room. C'mon, let's take a tour," he leads her up the stairs, only me following, while Moony and Wormtail resorts to the living room.

Though I have offered to help her carry her stuff, Lily refuses. (Note to self: Plan A—Mr. Nice Guy fails.)

"This," Padfoot points at the elegantly engraved nameplate on the door, (Lily pretends as if she didn't hear. Cough, cough.) "Is my room. No entrance till knocking."

_Marauders Secret #4: Hypocritically, marauders tend to love privacy, whereas snooping in others' (especially the GIRLS' dorms to get a—ahem—certain piece of clothing) rooms is probably their most favorite thing._

Instead, Pads knocks loudly three times on the door of the next room, marked 'No entrance without the express permission of master Regulus Black,' and a loud, deep voice shouts out, "What'd ya want this time, huh, Sirius?"

"Get your big head out of the room, Reg, and introduce yourself to our guest!" yells Pads in the equal voice volume that even Lily cuffs her hands over her ears.

"A guest? A—_guest?_" by the end of the second repeat, Regulus Black, same looks but shorter and less handsome (ugh, Pads would _kill _me for admitting this) sneakily opens the door, chuckling a bit as his own brother, losing balance from leaning too much on the door a second ago, falls flat face down on the floor. "Whoa, whoa, whoa," he exclaims to Padfoot's surprise, "You're not telling me, in addition to _those boys_--"

"_Those boys _are my friends, Reg," stabling himself on the ground once more, Pads says in a sharp voice I've never heard before, but Regulus ignores him, fixated at scanning Lily from head to toe. "—You're roping in_ a girl?_ Boy, are we gonna have fun," he muses in mock gladness.

"Shut it, Reg," being beckoned by his completely opposite sibling, Regulus, stealing a quick glance at Lily, smugly returns to his room, shutting the door loudly. Padfoot sighs and says to Lily, "Just wanted to introduce you to my much-loved brother."

"I see you have a pretty lovely family there, Black," my girl nods, understanding Pads' situation.

_Marauders Secret #5: It contradicts my beliefs to say this, but don't judge a marauder from his appearance and sayings, unless of course an annoying blood-related person _isn't_ involved._

"Hope he's not—" I say, thinking of the next possible thing.

"Oh yes, he will. 'Cause there's only us, him, and Kreacher," Pads cuts me off, "That's why I have you two met him there."

Unexpectedly, Lily and I sigh at the same time.

Boy, are _we_ going to have a lot of trouble.

Lily's POV

With a brother like Regulus, the 'bully' Slytherin fourth-year Seeker, it's no wonder Black's close to losing his sanity as it is.

After that disastrous meeting, Black shows me my small room, next to Regulus's, with its one bed and closet.

"Settle in, Evans, and we'll meet you for dinner later," Potter grins, "Oh, in case you're wondering," he winks suggestively (Ew, excuse me, but ew), "My room's right next to yours, do come in anytime, but it's Remus and Peter too, so—" a violent tug from behind stops him, "See you."

_Marauders Secret #6: No matter how gentlemanly they appear to be, marauders are marauders: that is, naughty thoughts and Quidditch-addicted._

With a little wave, he and Black disappears, and I'm left alone. At last.

Phew, a whole day of a magically hidden mansion, Black's maniac brother, and Potter's inserting disturbing thoughts into my head—it just can't get any worse.

Though his hazel eyes are so nice to look at—

Wait, where did _that thought_ come from?

Oh no, Lily, you're NOT going insane simply by staying in a house full of St. Mungo's escapees, I try telling myself.

After unpacking my suitcase, a trip to the bathroom before dinner to freshen up wouldn't hurt. So, gathering my stuff, I head out.

The second I open the door, a thought returns to my head. Remember what I said about how my situation's possibly NOT going to worsen?

It just has.

"OH. MY. GOD."

**A/N: Hee, a cliffhanger :P**

**(And introducing Regulus Black…)**

**Don't worry, the next chapter's coming up soon. Won't let you wait.**

**Thanks to everyone who's dropped by, reading and/or reviewing!**

**I'd love to hear what you think,**

**Merry Christmas and Happy New Year (with virtual cookies) to my reviewers and readers!**

**Your ever humble fanfic writer :)**

5


	2. Bathroom Business & Boxer Shorts Secrets

**A/N: Without further ado, here's chapter three.**

**Disclaimer: see Chapter one. Marauders-worship purposes—ha, ha.**

**Chapter 3: Day One**

**(LOL. Alliteration!)**

Lily's POV

"OH. MY. GOD."

And I thought no one is—or was—in the bathroom!

The shower stops abruptly, but all I can see is that dark shadow.

"Who the hell—" the familiar deep voice yells, rather annoyed, and suddenly…Regulus Black appears, hair glistening with water, a towel covering his lower half.

**(A/N: Gotcha! Thought a marauder's coming out, didn't you?)**

"I…me," I teeter, not knowing what to say. After all, meeting your host's pesky brother you've seen minutes ago, now half-naked, isn't easy for a girl.

"Oh," his scowl softens at the sight of me, "I thought it was Sirius."

"But you didn't lock the door," I say, pink dots appearing on my cheeks.

"I—er—my brother has another bathroom to himself," Regulus replies awkwardly, "So normally no one uses this. What am I talking about," he shakes his head, "No girl's ever come here before. I guess you're the lucky one—?"

"Evans, I'm Lily Evans," now why the heck did I give my name so easily to a Slytherin?

"Well, Miss Evans, glad to know you and all, but excuse me for a moment, unless you happen to like—" the Slytherin has a sly grin on. Darn, he's just like his brother in some ways.

"No thanks, I prefer not," I quickly come out, still hearing Regulus's light chuckles in the room.

James's POV

OH. MY. GOD.

Nope, I didn't hear what Padfoot's said. Not at all. Not a single word.

"PRONGS," he bellows, seeing I cuff my hands over my ears on the underground kitchen's table, "Evans's just met Reg in the bathroom! His bathroom!" he pauses, I remaining still, "PRONGS! Aren't you going to say something?"

YES. Shame that, why couldn't it be me…why did Lily have to choose that exact moment, why Regulus? WHY…

"No," I squeak, Padfoot moving closer, his hand touching my forehead, "Are you…_ill_?"

"Guess love's poisoned him, Padfoot," laughs Moony, chomping on his favorite food chocolate happily (Yeah, right. Friends _are_ happy, me not.) "No need to cure."

"Uh huh," nods Pads, "You've really got it—"

He stops as Lily walks into the room…follows by Kreacher.

"Bad," Pads continues in a weak voice.

"If Mistress knows a filthy Mudblood's walking the halls, oh what would she say?" he mumbles, Pads secretly cursing behind my back.

"Do NOT call her that!" unconsciously, my wand is pointing at the elf.

Lily herself immediately blocks the way, "Do NOT harm him, Potter!"

"But, he—it—called you--," Merlin, she's uncommonly kind, even to a nasty, everyone-who's-met-would-hate-right-away elf like Kreacher.

Can I be more in love?

"I _know_," she says, "But he's just an elf. Stop being an arrogant toe-rag who cast spells at people and creatures for fun!"

I just can't fight her.

Kreacher scoots over to hide behind Pads, making dinner the second my wand lowers.

Humph. Would have told Pads to kill that elf long ago if not for its cooking talent! Mhm, speaking of that…

"Well, that's a way to begin a meal," Moony comments, finished with his chocolate, "Now who's hungry?"

My stomach rumbles involuntarily, the rest of the marauders and my love turning to look at me.

"Prongs is," Peter adds innocently, cleaning his fork and knife, Lily, meanwhile, smirking disgustedly.

Great.

Kreacher serves us a delicious-looking stew, which I dig in as soon as I get my hands on. Yum! But why's Lily looking at me like that?

_Marauders Secret #7: With food, they, including Remus, typically FORGET everything. And the eating—ugh, I can't even mention. Girls, watch out for Black. He isn't as…you know…_

Clank! The sounds of the spoons hitting the plates—all done, sir.

Wait, there's this…uneasy feeling down there. Ow. Pads—Moony—Lily—they're all touching their stomachs!

What's wro—

And a whole bucket-full of some slimy green substance lands with a 'splash!' on the table, the others backing away. I look down, huffing, hands placed firmly on my stomach.

Oh God, vomit. Mine.

And Lily—Lily ate the same thing. No, no…it's happening, it's happening!

In my head, everything's going in slow motion, even though the whole incident takes up 5 seconds in muggle time.

Her body curling up because of the pain, (I wanting to help but cannot, being on the opposite side of the table and since far out of my reach), my future-girlfriend, has grabbed my best mate's trousers for support, vomiting all over them both, and causing Pads to tumble over, crashing Moony flat face down on the floor as well.

There they lay, covered in vomit.

Not my best bet about a dream date, but still.

Worse, Pads did NOT tell me he's—

Groan. –Wearing that hideous—Good grief.

Lily's revealed Padfoot's, _Sirius Black's_, boxer shorts…

The one with 'Siri' written all over them…made by his—no,wait—_Moony's _mother.

Needless to say, Moony's got the matching 'Remey' boxer shorts. I just hope he's not—

Hell.

What's wrong with the world today, may I ask?

What did I do to deserve two matching boxer shorts wearing best friends fell in puke the second the love of my life visits?

Then, to my surprise, Peter decides to laugh out loud as I hurry over to them, helping Lily up first. ("Oh, great, where's the 'together we win, apart we die,' friends motto now, huh?" Pads grumbles as he stands up with Moony, who shushes him up.)

"Thank you," Lily says politely, her face the complete opposite, brushing the vomit off her jeans, "I think we all need a trip to the shower, don't we?" and storms off.

"Y—You, poisoned us!" I point at Kreacher, furious, "You dirty elf! Pads, do something!"

Padfoot stands there, "Typical of you, Kreacher, not that I expect any better. You know what to do," he says grimly, Kreacher, an evil smile on his wrinkled face, rushes to punish himself nevertheless.

I'd try to run after him, only Moony holds me back, "C'mon, you really need a bath right now, James, not some elf-torturing."

Sigh. 'Remus' calls me by my real name when he means it.

And it this time's pretty serious.

"Save that for later," whispers Pads in my ear, patting my back and heads upstairs. "Oh, since it's an emergency," he turns back, using the air quotes again, "Y'all can use my private bathroom, follow."

Lily's POV

I…am…speechless.

This is worse than...Oh, don't talk about it, will you?

That's it. Am talking to myself—on the way to a bath…

A step closer to insanity—whoo hoo!

Yeah, right.

At the nearest bathroom, I knock on the door three times, "Reg, are you in there?"

"Yep," the deep voice answers, the sound of shower still going on, "Care to join?"

If my ears weren't mistaken, he's chuckling. Again.

"Not," I grudgingly reply, asking, "Are there any more available bathrooms?"

"Well," he shouts, "The _other_ nearest one's broken, and this one's in use—ah hem, so only Sirius's would be."

Not more of this. Marauders!

"But—but, you know, what if they're in there?" Please not, please no…

"Early birthday present for you then, darling." Muffled groan, how helpful he is!

Having no choice, I march over to Black's bathroom, nearly knocking on the door—

"Ouch!"

"Ou—oh, Evans!" I look up, only to find myself looking at Potter's toned chest, and into his hazel eyes.

"What're you doing here?" the wet Potter asks, thank God he's got his towel on. Silence engulfs me for a few seconds,

"Can't you see? Waiting to take a bath, duh," I shrug. Potter starts to reply but is interrupted by some sort of a phenomenally loud sound, exerting the human ears' perceptive sense of hearing level.

"What," hands on my hips, I ask, "In Merlin's name is that sound?"

"Oh," Potter sighs, shaking his messy, slick wet head, "That's just Sirius singing," and smiles.

_Singing?_ Excuse moi?

That sound could have kept a Norwegian Ridgeback Dragon awake!

He calls that _singing_. Huff.

_Marauders Secret #8: Sirius Black SINGS in the shower, ladies, and, believe me, it ain't pretty._

"Well, you never know. He might be a singer one day," Potter says, though, on seeing my frowned face, adds, "Ok. Joking."

After five minutes in hell of damaging my ear drums with that contagious sound, Black comes out, his eyebrows rising at the sight of me.

What's the matter with _one_ girl?

"What're you doing here?"

Touché. De ja vu.

"Waiting to take a—" Potter stops when Pettigrew hurries in, wearing his and disappears in the shower room.

"Wha—" I cannot believe it. What is that?

"He's always like this, Peter," explains Black, excusing himself to go out to change, followed by Potter.

_Marauders Secret #9: _Oh God_. Peter Pettigrew showers with his underwear on. That's why he smells. Gross._

Then, don't let me say it, Remus Lupin comes in, already in his pajamas, with an armful of books.

"Erm, thought you guys are nearly done," I say, backing off, "Guess I better use the other bathroom, then, bye."

No more, no more.

Yes! Regulus's done—what's that boy doing in the bathroom so long anyways? (Plotting to bomb the house?)

I turn on the hot, warm water and, untying my long hair, taking off my dirty (thanks to Kreacher. Great, I'll never help that ungrateful elf again!) clothes, settles down in the bathtub. Mhm, how relaxing…

After all, encountering a day with a whole pack of marauders requires some reward…

And, let's face it, if I survive the first day—I'll be fine for other six.

Won't I?

**A/N: YAY! Thanks to Asako for her advices on the secrets!**

**Well, we'll see what the marauders are up to, next chap, won't we? (hee, hee.) **

**Reviews and suggestions are always welcome,**

**Love to all you supporters, (you know who you are), for dropping by, reading and/or reviewing,**

**Your ever humble fanfic writer :)**


	3. Confessions and Quizzous Conversations

**A/N: Hi! Hope all of you have happy holidays! School's opening soon (for me anyways).**

**I removed chapter one, by the way, all explanations is better in this chapter rather that the first, I feel. (If anyone misses it, (haha, just kidding), I'll put chap one up by the time the story's finished as a bonus.)**

**Chapter (Used to be Four, but now it's) Three**

Lily's POV

Life is getting complicated.

Too complicated to even think about, in fact…

"Can I sit here?" the too familiar voice cannot be mistaken for its owner.

In an attempt to avoid further disastrous meals from the Marauders, I'm sitting in the hallway, minding my own business, still eating my breakfast (thankfully Black has Kreacher eaten the first plate so as to confirm the no-poison status), when Regulus, wearing Muggle clothing, his short black hair tidied up in place, comes in.

"Sure," I reply without looking up at him.

"What're you doing here anyways, Evans?" he asks, "Thought I heard you mumble, 'Marauders,' last night in your sleep?"

Oh Merlin. Have they, of all people, perfected the arts of invading one's mind? Or was I simply too worried about _them_? "Uh—well, it's a long story," I say, "A bet."

"A bet?" he leans closer, interested, "You made a bet with them?"

Oh no, Regulus, I preferably did not—it was my other crazy twin wandering the Great Hall that morning.

"Yes," the word takes a few second before it escapes my mouth, rather reluctantly, "That I'd stay with them here for seven days in exchange for Potter to stay away from me."

I thought back to my best friend Katrina's reaction.

"_WHAT?" she screeches the moment I set foot into the girls' dorms, "ARE YOU ON?"_

"_Nothing!" Now I'm regretting ever telling her about it. "It's—it's just a stupid bet, I guess, but how harmful can it be?"_

"_No, no, no," she babbles, "I meant—living with THEM? Merlin, you've got to be kidding me. A summer with four—" her eyebrows stitches up in thought, "—okay, three—of the hottest boys in Hogwarts? I am so jealous, Lily." _

_Best friends can be so helpful, aren't they?_

"Bloody hell, you're one crazy girl!" he exclaims, banging his elbow on his knee, "The Potter boy likes you, you know that," I nod. "Popular, arrogant," he shakes his head, "Just like Sirius."

"Why? What's with Sirius?" Regulus's face turns serious at the sound of my question.

"He's—he's, always getting the girls, being the better brother, more friends, more—I don't know—freedom. I hate him," the sentence is said quickly, followed by another I'd never expected to hear, "No, I—I say it all the time, but I've never told anybody this before, Evans, it's a lie."

Poor guy, overshadowed by his popular brother! "Yet," he says, "Mum and Dad likes me…me, who wants to be like him."

Hmm, conflicted life, I see. "But why are you telling me all this, Reg? You seem—"

"Seems like I'm fine by myself, isn't it? No, it's not like that," the food on his plate remains untouched, Regulus clasps his hands together, "Why you? I don't know. I don't even talk to Sirius about this, but you just look—"

He stops, blushing.

_Blushing?_ Am I seeing this correctly? Regulus Black blushing?

"—friendly to me," the Slytherin finishes, "And you know what with keeping up the family name and those feelings inside me, it feels good to talk once in a while."

"Oh," is all I can say, "Thanks for trusting me, then, Reg, and don't worry, maybe I can help you on this."

Though he's heading to the kitchen to clean out his plate, Regulus turns back, "Don't," he says, then goes away.

I don't understand any of this.

James's POV

Bugger, bugger!

Lily's not here this morning, probably eating somewhere else. Huh, not my fault for poisoning the bloody stew. That Kreacher, wait till I catch him, I'm going to…I'm going to…

"Prongs, can you tell me what it is you're doing, or are you seriously trying to murder your scrambled egg?" Moony's voice pulls me off my thoughts.

Looking down, my main course's already messed up by the fork I'm holding. Oh dear.

"Uh, nothing, Moony," I brusquely answer, "Just thinking, you know, thoughts. I'd better go see where Lily is."

"He's a bit—off, this morning, don't you think?" leaving the room, I hear Padfoot mutter, "Probably because of last night, no doubt," concludes Moony.

"Guys, I heard that!" I poke my head into the room once more, then a rather genius idea appears in my mind, "Hey, Moony, you've got that Divination Quizzes Book of yours, right?"

"Yes, why might you need it, Prongs? I've never thought you were interest—" I cut him off.

"Bring that book with you to the living room in five minutes, and you'll see."

Sneaking to the hallway, I find Lily sitting by herself on a bench.

"Oh look, it's Potter," she turns on me instead, the tone more sarcastic than ever, "What do you want with me this time?"

"Erm," What can I say—sorry for the incident last night if not for you stopping that bloody elf—"You know we kind of, um, gotten to a bad start last night, so Sirius suggests we all play a game—"

"A game?" she says it as if I was asking her out the five thousandth time.

"Come on, Evans," I plead, please, please give me a chance, "It'll be fun. No more disasters, promise."

For a moment there's a brief silence, and I turn back, giving up.

Lily sighs. "Fine, I'll go, but keep your words," she rushes into the living room.

My heart follows her in faster than I do.

"So," I begin, "We, the Marauders, and Lily Evans, are here today—"

"—And you'd think he's going to say, 'to witness the marriage of'—" Padfoot's whispering to Moony, who chuckles. Yeah, right.

"To take some interesting personality quizzes," I continue, beaming at Lily, "Now who wants to read the quizzes out?"

"Not me," says Pads, flashing me his toothy smile, "Got to save my voice for the ladies."

Scowling at Pads mockingly, I turn to Moony, but he refuses ("I'd rather be the listener today, thanks."), so, when all hope's lost. James Potter, aka Mr. Prongs, is here to save the day.

"Very well, I'll read them," I open the thick book, fingers sliding down the index, "Hmm, let's see what we have here. Ok, we'll begin with a quiz on 'lurve,' Evans, 'lurve,' or what I feel about you." She gives me a look.

"Firstly," I begin, "Evans's going to take it, won't you, so I can know—"

A punch hits me in the arm. "Ow, but you'll take it, right?" she nods. "Grab your parchment and quill, and write all your answers."

"Number one: If the end of the world is coming, and you can only save one kind of animal—would you rather pick: Rabbit, Sheep, Horse, or Deer?" I wink suggestively. Save me, haha.

"Shame there's no dogs," Pads adds, "They're most vital."

"Oh, in what?" retorts Moony, "Creating chaos, perhaps?"

Pads scowls, but ol' Moony returns him a grin.

"Rabbits are small and annoying, even though they're kind of cute," says Lily, "And sheep, well, I've never really had an interest in sheep. I think I'd rather go with—deer, they're elegant and pretty."

Ah hem, I rise up proudly, Pads rolling his eyes, "Yep, that's me! The deer!"

"What were you saying?" Lily looks up, surprised.

"Oh, nothing—never mind. Next question: If you had to be an animal, which one would you choose: Dog, Cat, Horse, or Snake."

"First of all I have no intentions whatsoever of becoming a filthy, disgusting symbol of Slytherin Snake, or the horse, because I just don't like it. And cats are so—so full of themselves. I'll be a dog."

It's Pads' turn to cheer, but I smile. "You would make such a perfect girlfriend, Evans."

"Not ever to you," she scoffs. Aw.

"Number Three:" Cough, cough. "If one of the animals could speak, which one would you prefer it to be: Sheep, Horse, Rabbit, Bird."

"Bird," is her one word answer that makes my heart swell—yes, Lily, I would love to—

"What, Potter, why are you looking at me, going all gooey and bloody chirpy?"

Oops.

"'Cause the quiz says something about him and you getting together," suggests Pads, whom Lily rewards with a nudge in the elbow.

"Number Four: If you could tame all animals, which would be your pet: Leopard, Polar Bears, White Tiger, or Dinosaur?"

"Ah, Dinosaur sounds interesting," Please not, please no! "But they're gone, so what's the use?" Phew. "Polar Bears are cuddly, but I think it's for kids, so white tiger's best."

She's so going to get married to me, world.

"What, Prongs, did you get the one about her being married to you for eternity?" teases Pads.

"Close, Pads, close," I say, "Now, Number—whoo, last one—six: If you could be an animal for five minutes, what would you be: Cat, Lion, Horse, or Pigeon?"

"Ew, cats, no way!" she mumbles, quietly writing her answer down. "Well? Done? Dazzle me, Potter."

"Number one: saving the deer—me—" I say under my breath, "Means that you are attracted to someone elegant and well-mannered, like me."

"Not you," Lily, Moony, Padfoot all say at the same time.

What?

"Number two: your choice represents the impression you would like to give to your partner, which is: dog—faithful and loyal."

"Awww," coos Pads, "I always knew that's me."

"Oh really?" Moony raises his eyebrows, "Let me ask the girls you've gone out with, then."

"Number three: Bird, means you wish to have a long, lasting relationship. I'll make that happen, of course, the day you say yes."

"I trust you would, Potter," her tone's a direct imitation of Moony's, unfortunately.

"Number four: White tiger means you think marriage is something precious that you'll treasure it and your partner very much. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink!"

She does her 'you-just-wait-and-see' smile, the Lily smile.

"Oh that's why you were off to dream land for a few seconds, Prongs," Wormtail speaks up for the first time this morning.

"Last number: what's your answer, anyways, I didn't look at it," I pick up her parchment, but she slaps (ouch) my hand. "Let me read it myself."

"Ok, Pigeon, now what does that mean?"

Wow, though she may not look it, this girl is serious about love. "You think of love as commitment for both parties," I answer.

Lily nods.

Uh-oh, James Potter, love isn't going to be easy this time—

**A/N: I tried my best. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did in writing!**

**Reviews, suggestions, and ideas are always welcome and appreciated!**

**Your ever humble fanfic writer :).**


	4. Actions and An Accident

A/N: Only three words to say to you:

**A/N: Only three words to say to you: I AM SORRY. **

**On with the story! (Was searching for ideas...for a very long time)**

Lily's POV

Just after the bloody quiz's finished, (There's no way in the world I'm marrying Potter. The probability is as likely as Black getting a serious girlfriend.) I find out there are more surprises left in this world.

No, not that they say, "Oh, Evans, we're sorry, but this all has been a dream; You can go home."

Not that Sirius Black stands up and sing.

No. It has to be Potter.

Yes, you hear me, Potter. Singing.

He could have passed as a flat tenor, as Remus's groans confirm. Anyways, he's learned the Carpenters' famous Muggle song to 'impress' me.

So much for the millionth impressions.

"And now," Potter brushes the sides of his trousers, standing up, "It's time for the Potter Extraordinare Show."

Only Black and Pettigrew clapped politely (uh-huh), Remus and I rolling our eyes. Again.

No surprises there.

"In which we're going to present the song: Close to You," said Potter, taking in a deep breath and ruffling his messy black mob at the same time.

Remus stares at Potter as he starts his song, saying, "Lily, must we go through this?"

Funny, should have been me who's asking that oh-so-peculiar question.

_Marauders Secret #10: Even Remus, the marauder with the best endurance with whatever pranks his pals are up to, cannot stand the Potter singing voice. Or any show, for that matter._

I mean, how many times have I said that to Katrina, especially with the Marauders around?

Merlin knows.

Oh, there he goes! "Why do birds suddenly appear? Everytime you are near." Croaking, almost out of breath, and strangely off-tone, that's him.

I would have stayed longer only if Black doesn't 'join in.' "Cause you look like a worm," he sang, almost bringing back the awful vomit memories.

Potter shot Black at look for a split second, plainly of disdain, and continued serenading (if you could call it that) without further words, "Why do stars fall down from the sky?"

"Every time that you die," there Black choruses. This time, our 'star singer' grabs his mate by the collar, whispering—the kind that's so loud anyone could hear—"What's the matter with you, Padfoot? I'm just trying to sing!"

"What?" Having known Black for five full years, I still marvel at his ability to 'act innocent' practically 'all the time.' Even with that childish acting voice. "I thought this would—"

But whether it would do what I do not know. For the moment they start one of their 'petty arguments,' as Remus puts it—which doesn't stop until ten minutes have passed—Remus, Pettigrew and I tiptoe out.

Sorry. Couldn't really stand such charming voices

James's POV

So much for the millionth impressions

What everyone says about first impressions being wrong is false. Neither Lily's impression of mine, or mine of her, has been able to change over the years.

At least, as I have hoped

Our relationships are more parallel than ever, seemingly brushing off and on, but never actually meeting.

Every time I try, there's always an obstacle in the way.

Unlike my best playboy buddy, I believe, sir, I believe in true love.

And destiny, the one and only thing controlling our love lives, has brought her to Pads' mansion.

'Why, this is only the second day!' I tell myself. There's time. There's time…

Of which right now I'd better use to teach Pads some singing lessons…with my fist.

Lily's POV

After lunch—during which Potter 'accidentally' spilled his soup at Black—I realize I've forgotten my reading book, something to help me keep my mind and energy off the marauders, at the living room, and so walk in to recapture it.

Instead, my eyes met Regulus's brown ones across the room, as he examined my book.

"Oh. Evans," he said, in a rather scornful voice, "It's yours. I was wondering why Sirius would read, uh," the Slytherin looks at the cover, which depicts one of the most popular star-crossed lovers' picture on a rose, "_Romeo and Juliet_. Sounds too much of a play for him, huh?"

"Yes, I thought so," I couldn't help but agree, "Now give me back my book."

The prat snatched it up, far out of my reach. Dang it, why does he have to be as tall as Black?

"Reg!"

"_Evans!_" he mocks.

"Why are you even doing this?" a sigh follows my curious question, I staring into those deep, cryptic pupils. How difficult would it be to decipher that secret code?

Of what he actually feels inside?

Sometimes his presence is mysterious and unnerving, yet that warm glint is rare to see.

As it's directed at me now

The only question racks my brain: why?

Reaching for the book, my right hand merely brushes the cover, resulting in my annoyed huff but Regulus's smirk.

Perhaps that was why he lowers the book, still not giving it to me.

Though, seemingly as I am doing a crazy dance with him, following him around the room, I trip—the one trip I regret ever doing in my life—and we both stumble onto the floor, I on top of him.

Breathing rapidly, hearts thumping, not knowing which is which…

I push him off, catching a blank expression on his face, as if he did not expect this to happen, "And I guess you'd have something to say about this."

"Erm. Huff, sorry, Evans," he said, face purely 'honest', eyes difficult to read, as always, "Accident."

"Accident!" exclaims a voice, "Regulus, you'd better have something to say."

To my shock, the worst in my possible nightmares, I cannot believe my sight—of James Potter, standing in the hallway, face unreadable.

Oh Merlin, don't tell me what I am thinking is right.

**A/N: I AM SORRY!!**

**I'm thinking of better story plot points. Coming soon ;).**

**Love you all, for giving this amateur writer a chance,**

**Your ever humble fanfic writer :)**


	5. Scheming to Sabotage

_Chapter 5--Scheming and Sabotaging_

* * *

**A/N: It's been FOREVER! I know. I'm sorry, but who can blame it if Chuck Bass's been stealing my writing time lately. (haha) **

James

I'm not stalking Lily. Really. Laid off that habit last year (when her girlfriend Katrina caught me snooping around and threw a whole pack of some-Honeydukes-candy-explosives at me).

Was just finding where she was—and the most unbelievable sight _had _to greet me: Regulus Black—I won't even say it—with my girl.

Well, technically. In my mind, she's reserved.

Before I can process to interrogate the guilty any further, Regulus holds up his hands, voice crystal clear of his obvious guilt. "Hey, Potter, no hard feelings," he says casually, as if the matter at hand is a tedious Potions homework. "Totally what I said. Accident."

Accident. First the bathroom and then this.

The Black spawn of the devil has had more contact with Lily than I have or will ever since I've set eyes on her five years ago.

And, to be honest, I'm not in the least bit insulted.

I turn to Lily, who's standing there, blank-faced and shell-shocked. "Evans, it _was_ an accident?" my quizzical voice seems light as air.

Lily's expression immediately changes at my tone, her green eyes narrowing into slits. "Potter, you have no rights to go inspecting what everyone's doing with everyone at every moment. And no matter what you think, or are thinking, I'm not your girl. Never am. Highly low probability of ever will be. So what, if I was actually _with_ Reg, is it any of your business?"

Ouch. Harsh. My face falls. "So you're—you're saying….you were with him?"

In one decisive gesture as an answer to my question, Lily—gasp—takes Regulus's hand, a cheeky grin evident on the Slytherin's face.

Hell. I'd take a million bowls of Kreacher's poisoned soup than this truth any day.

Rejected and heartbroken, I manage a "Then I won't be bothering you both. Evans, only five more days to go."

Leave. Now.

And don't look back.

Lily

The second Potter leaves, my other hand, on auto-pilot, swats Regulus's one gripping on mine. "Out. Break up. Now," I say sharply, Regulus still clingling on.

He stares at me, yet still maintaining that maniacal grin. "Thought you wanted to make this realistic."

"But he's gone," I repeat, annoyed, struggling to break free.

God, what have I done?

"Didn't tell me you wanted it this way," his eyes catch on mine.

This is really starting to pi—me off.

Edging away from him, I declare flatly, "Nope, Reg, we're nothing. Oh wait, there's no we. Only me and you. Get it? That was just a cover to get away from Potter," and turn my back on the most infuriating Black.

"You know you can't get enough of me!" he shouts after, loud enough for Potter and the marauders in the living room to hear.

My face burn.

And I thought the Marauders were the worst.

James

"She chose that—that—Black instead of me!" I shout, oblivious to the startled faces of my marauders.

Pads speak up first. "Prongs, um, regardless of whatever facts," his hands wander shapelessly in the air, irritated and bored. "That Black _is_ my brother."

"Oh what, now you're taking his side?" I spin on him, Moony acting as a barrier between us, while Wormtail starts jumping up and down nervously, like that time we found out he had hidden a pet mouse in the dorm room.

A chaotic mess. That's when Regulus's "You know you can't get enough of me" sounds from the library.

Driving me insane.

Moony sighs. "Guys, no use fighting over a girl. Or your brother," he turns to Pads. "And Lily's right. You don't own her, do you, James?"

First name basis again. Are we getting serious?

I hope so.

I shake my head, refusing to answer. Moony continues, "So shut up, and at least try to be mature. Finding some ways to win her is better than complaining that you don't have her. Isn't it?"

Bang. Like a light bulb flashes in my mind. What a wake up call.

Shrugging, Pads give a weak smile. "You're right, Moony. If they're together, I'd say whatever." I raise my eyebrows. "But I'll help you, of course," he adds quickly.

"There are some ways to sabotage my brother."

**A/N: Will think of better ideas. But this is getting interesting!**

**Thanks for every review and hit,**

**Your ever humble fanfic writer :)**


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